Packaged Deal
by The Pootamis
Summary: They are inseparable. They are a packaged deal and he would never know what hit him.


Strolling out the gates of her home for the last couple of months that in her mind would be the very last time coming to a stop just outside of the main gates turning on her heels just as she looks back towards the first step of gates with the biggest smile across her face instantly Harley jumps back in total surprise when she sees the gates slam shut right behind her.

Slam shut behind her before she even has a chance to get a couple of feet away causing a frown to form across her face until is evaporates leaving nothing but a scowl behind.

" That is just so….rude."

Looking off into the distance finding a pair of guards snickering at her clearly amused at what they had just seen flipping them the bird gripping the small stack of her possessions tight to her chest turning on her heels with a flick of her head causing her hair to be thrown over to her side with a loose piece covering her eyes causing her to huff raising her chin up high slowly Harley makes her way down the long entrance way.

This entrance way that she always dreaded seeing. Always dreaded knowing what exactly laid ahead through the doors.

But this time it was different. This time she was welcoming seeing this piece of scenery for it would be the very last time.

The very last time she would ever come here. The very last time she would be shipped off here and be chucked back into her cell.

A cell that would now remain barren for a very long time if she got any say about it. A mindset that all started thanks to one individual.

All thanks to one woman that she was happy to call her best friend. Poison Ivy. The deadliest vixen throughout the city of Gotham.

A woman that she can still remember their first encounter like it was yesterday. Remember how she first started calling her the plant lady. Poison Oaky if she remembered correctly.

Yep that was it. Poison Oaky. Oh how she remembered the glare she had received for that little nickname.

An encounter that has blossomed from that day into something more. Into a lifelong friendship between the two.

For the beautiful redhead a friend. A true friend that would always have her back. As for her. Well this vixen has shown to be the perfect role model for her paving the way for her.

Showing her that there was a whole world out there for the taking. There was a whole world out there to explore.

A world full of many great things. A world that didn't have to revolve around another. Another clown to be more specific.

Her Mister J. What some called a deranged clown she called her puddin. What some called crazy she called fun.

A mindset that she had for so long. But not anymore. Not after everything that they've been through. From him almost killing her on multiple bases.

From him always degrading and belittling her. Hell he even tried to replace her on a few occasions. But he was in the past.

That she would make sure of following another's example. Following her best friend's example showing she could change.

She could change into something better. Could change from being a villainess to a hero if she wanted. A strange change.

Heck it even sounded scary but it also sounded like it would be so much fun. A strange change that had all started six months ago when she had received a letter.

An unanimous letter with no return mailing address. No name other than her own written with what looked like red lipstick.

Her very first letter. A letter that she had ripped open with such a haste as though she was a kid on Christmas day before the identity of the sender became quite clear to her with a familiar scent in the air.

This beautiful scent that would only come from a few unique roses hidden deep within her best friend's greenhouse.

A scent that made the biggest smile come across her face before she started to read the letter with her eyes only getting wider with every single thing she read.

A letter explaining an adventure. An adventure to finally have her inner desire come true. A desire the blonde haired clown knew way too well.

An desire that had been shared to her so many times before. The desire to be with him. To be with the mysterious Batman.

Who could blame her? Especially after she had done a mental checklist of everything this red haired goddess could see in him.

Was he packing? That she was sure of. She had felt his muscles on a few occasions. She had felt what his lips tasted like.

She had seen the gentler side of the hero underneath the stone exterior he wanted others to see. A man that was a perfect ten in her book.

Well maybe not so. She would have to grade him higher. He did pack quite a wallop. A checklist that she quickly had to put on the backburner in order to continue reading the letter with her eyebrows raising a few times at what she was reading.

Reading how this red haired beauty. How her best friend had suddenly gotten into the dark knight's good graces when she had assisted him in a bank robbery.

Oh how she could imagine how that scene went down. How her best friend would just snap her fingers making roots emerge out of the ground grabbing a hold of some wannabe robbers causing a look of shock to come across Batman's face before she would just stalk over towards him swaying her hips seductively before giving him a kiss.

A scene that she could picture so perfectly happening. Especially the last part. Heck even she has fallen for that little trick on a couple of occasions.

But that wasn't important. Not right now anyways. What was important was the rest of the letter detailing to her the man's exact reaction.

An reaction that had just made her grin before she layed back in her bed with the thoughts of she would get him next time for sure echoing through her head.

And it did happen. Another letter came detailing just that. Detailing how her best friend had just snagged the caped crusader taking him permanently off the market.

A letter that had made her smile widely just hearing the excitement and happiness in her best friend's words.

A best friend that she was looking forward to seeing now. Looking forward to seeing this new and improved Poison Ivy.

And it wouldn't take her long as she finds a car waiting just outside of the entrance gates. A familiar red car with the hood down as a familiar set of red hair could be seen behind the wheel.

Red hair that suddenly turns towards her revealing a friendly smile. A friendly smile that she can't help but return as she sticks her hand out and waivers not watching her step causing her to stumble forward only for her to catch herself before she falls as the sound of laughter echoes through the air.

Laughter that she looks up towards to find Ivy making her way out of the vehicle and make her way around towards her.

Make her way to her until before she knows it she feels Ivy's hands caressing her cheeks and her lips pressed against her own.

A gesture that makes Harley's eyes go as wide as saucers at the surprising yet welcomed gesture gesture causing herself to be lost into the kiss before she opens her eyes with a dazed look to find Ivy grinning at her.

" Well hello to you too stranger."

Chuckling at her best friend's dazed look giving her a quick peck on the lips gently taking the stack of items out of her best friend's hands turning on her heels slowly Ivy makes her way back towards the vehicle depositing the items in her arms in the backseat before she gets back into the driver's seat.

" You coming Harls?"

Snapping out of her shock as a wide smile comes across her face taking off into a run instantly Harley leaps up into the air into a flip and lands into the passenger's seat of the vehicle causing a giggle to be heard from her side before instantly she lets out a laugh when she feels the vehicle blazing down the road at high speed causing her long blonde hair to flow freely with the wind.

* * *

Unable to contain her excitement bouncing up and down on table top that she has commandeered looking over towards her best friend finding watering some nearby plants that just seem to hum in approval at their mistresses actions leaning forward with the biggest smile across her face Harley locks onto Ivy's face finding a genuine smile across her face.

" Soooo?"

Taking her eyes away from her next charge to look over her shoulder finding Harley smiling widely at her returning the smile turning her head back forward to water another nearby plant slowly Ivy's smile keeps getting wider.

" Oh come on Red. Details baby! I want details!"

Laughing at her best friend's excitement placing her bucket down making her way over to sit right next to her not even bothering to suppress her smile slowly Ivy turns towards Harley seeing her looking towards her with questionable eyes.

" He's everything i thought and more."

Smiling brightly at her best friend's reveal seeing a shine coming from down below looking down instantly Harley's eyes go as wide as saucers.

" He didn't!?"

Unable to contain her laughter nodding her head furiously reaching up Ivy displays her left hand up towards Harley with the biggest smile across her face revealing a diamond ring coming from her engagement ring.

Letting out a squeal reaching out instantly Harley pulls Ivy into a hug causing the redhead to laugh at the sudden gesture before she returns the hug with equal excitement.

" You're getting married! You're getting married! You're getting…."

Instantly as she feels Ivy pulling away from the hug shaking her head the smile across Harley's face drops.

" Married?"

Seeing the look of sadness coming across her best friend's face feeling her lips curling upward gently Ivy takes Harley's hands within her own.

" I'm not the only one."

Unable to keep her lips from curling up into a grin by the confused look across her best friend's face giving her hands a squeeze rising up to her feet making her way over towards a nearby cabinet reaching inward grasping a small object from within making sure to hide it behind her back slowly Ivy once again takes her seat next to Harley finding her trying to take a peak at what is behind her back.

A gesture that she can't help but tease her moving her hands away from her sight before as she sees a pout come across the blonde's face smiling over towards her reaching forward slowly Ivy uncovers the object in her hands revealing a small black box.

A box that she slowly opens to the shock of her best friend to find another diamond engagement ring similar to her own.

This ring that she gently takes within her fingers before she looks back up towards Harley's shell shocked face staring back at her.

So shocked that she doesn't even feel her react as she takes the blonde's left hand within her own and gently places the engagement ring on her ring finger before after a few moments she watches the shock wear off as her best friend raises up her hand to inspect the ring with watery eyes.

" Red?"

" I told him that we are a packaged deal. No Harley no Ivy."

Turning her attention back over towards Ivy finding her grinning at her ignoring the tears that start to trickle down her cheeks reaching out Harley wraps her arms around the back of the redhead's neck before without giving her a chance to react she crashes her lips to her own.

A kiss that she feels being returned in tenfold as their hands wander around to each other's bodies before too soon for her liking Harley feels Ivy breaking off the kiss.

" Not yet. First we have something we need to do."

Feeling Ivy breaking away from her face without looking away as she watches her make her way over to her old costume that is neatly folded on a nearby table along with a couple of things that had been in her cell before she knows it Harley's world goes black when she feels her red and black one piece landing clean on her head.

" We have a mission to complete. Call it an early wedding present for our future husband."

Pulling the one piece off from her head with the biggest smile coming across her face discarding the one piece onto the table snapping to her feet reaching down Harley pulls off her white shirt leaving her in just a red bra before she quickly makes quick work of her black sweatpants leaving her in a set of black panties.

" So future sister of mine. I only have one question to ask about him since you covered everything else in your letters."

" Oh? And what's that?"

Slipping on her one piece tugging it upward making work of the zipper quickly with the biggest smile across her face reaching up Harley starts to wrap her hair up into two pigtails.

" Is our dear future husband packing?"

Grinning over towards the blonde making her way over gently swatting her hands away pushing her friend down to sit on top of a table slowly Ivy rolls up Harley's hair into a pigtail taking a scrunchie from her waiting hand before she starts doing another.

" Let's just say he gives my soil plenty of seeds to grow."

Whistling over at her best friend's declaration feeling Ivy's hands leaving her hair jumping up to her feet reaching out to grasp her purse without any delay Harley digs her hand inside grabbing a hold of her favorite gun from within making sure to tug the small piece of fabric coming from the flag attached to the boxing mitt back into the barrel before she tucks her purse straps over her shoulder and turns her head to only have a smile come across her face.

A smile from seeing Ivy a short distance away in all of her glory bending down before she slowly straightens herself up as a black bodysuit comes up to completely cover her.

A black body suit that she had never seen before with green stripes across her neck all the way down her chest.

This suit that she can't help but eyeball up and down before her eyes come up to meet Ivy's own seeing them twinkling over at her.

" Don't worry i'll get you one too."

" With red stripes?"

Smiling brightly over towards her friend closing the distance between them reaching out gently Ivy lays her hand down on Harley's shoulder.

" With all the red stripes you want."

Returning the smile removing Ivy's hand from her shoulder only to grasp it within her own with a skip to her step slowly Harley leads her out of the greenhouse and in the direction of their parked car.

" So what's this mysterious objective we need to accomplish? Is it a cake? Please tell me it's a cake! I've always wanted to jump out of one of those!"

Unable to help the smile that comes across her face from her best friend's or should she say future sister's excitement that just seems to be radiating off from her body keeping up step with step with her as she sees her nearing the entrance to the greenhouse instantly Ivy comes to a sudden halt bring Harley to a stop causing her to look over her shoulder at her with a questionable look.

" Not quite."

" Oh? Is it about getting some wedding dresses? If that's the case, I know a guy that can take care of that. He has these small hands that belong…."

" No it's not that either."

" In the circus?"

Staring at her best friend in nothing but confusion hearing a sigh coming from her gently Harley feels her hand being squeezed.

" We need to get you to leave your past behind."

" Past? Oh come on Red! I told you it was only one time and i got pressured into doing it."

Letting out a giggle shaking her head taking the lead gently Ivy pulls Harley past the entrance of the greenhouse.

" It's nothing like that. We need you to prove that you're completely over him."

" Him?"

Instantly as the realization of the meaning of her words kick in without any delay Harley comes to a sudden halt bring Ivy with her.

" Oh no!"

" Oh yes. If i'm to share the man that i love with you then there can't be any doubt."

" But Red…."

" No buts Harley unless its mine you're staring at."

Pouting at her best friend taking a quicking leaning over to pay a quick glance at the redhead's backside letting out a sigh Harley straightens herself upright as she sends an pointed look Ivy's way.

" Fine but our man better be well trained."

Smiling brightly giving her hand a gentle tug slowly Ivy once again leads Harley through the garden in the direction of their parked car.

" Oh he is. He even likes doing the whip cream method."

Shivering in excitement without putting up any sort of resistance Harley allows herself to be lead through the garden as the biggest smile comes across her face.

* * *

" I hate this."

Letting out a sigh nodding her head in agreement reaching out gently Ivy lays her hand on top of Harley's own.

" I know Harls but it's due time that you put that disgusting man behind you."

" But do, I really have to go in there? Can't i just you know? Send him a bomb through the mail or something? Hell even a text message would be better than this."

Shaking her head slightly entwining her fingers with her own giving her hand a gentle squeeze taking her eyes away from the old worn down building that looked as though it should have been demolished years ago and over towards Harley seeing her shaking slightly in her seat giving her hand another squeeze causing the blonde's eyes to meet her own giving her a reassuring smile Ivy slightly nods her head towards the building.

" Go i'll be right behind you."

" Oh want to get a look at the goods huh?"

Smiling slightly at her blonde friend's attempt for humor giving her hand one last squeeze releasing a hold of her hand reaching down Ivy grasps a hold of an grapple gun that is resting between them.

" More like the chance you'll see mine."

Turning her head without having a chance to respond instantly Harley watches Ivy disappear in a black blur as she soars upward.

Upward until she disappears out of sight in the darkness of a nearby rooftop making Harley stare up in total shock before slowly she shakes her head as her lips curl upward.

" I can't wait until i get one of those."

Staring up towards the rooftop for a few more seconds turning her head back forward towards the last known warehouse she knew where The Joker could possibly be hiding in letting out a sigh slowly Harley takes a long deep breath.

" He better be ready to eat a cherry out of my belly button for this."

With a determined look coming across her face without any delay reaching out Harley grasps the passenger's door handle and flings the door open slamming it shut behind her before with a fling of her purse over her shoulder slowly she makes her way down the street and over towards the building.

A building that if she remembered used to belong to some kind of law firm that had gone out of business.

A building that has seen much better days but a building that could be used for the perfect hideout if you didn't want to be found.

This building that as she comes up towards the entrance suddenly the door is flung open revealing two familiar faces.

 _What are their names again? Tom and Jerry? No that's not right? Rob and Ferrance? No what was it? It's on the tip of my tongue…._

" Hey Bob?"

" Ms Quinzel. The boss is expecting you."

Smiling slightly at her sudden accomplishment seeing him looking at her with a smirk forcing a smile across her face skipping past him along with his partner ignoring the sound of the door closing behind her repositioning her purse slowly Harley makes her way through the building towards where she knew she could find him.

Find the man that had always been on her mind. A mind that over time she found to be the source of all of her problems.

The prince of crime himself. The deranged clown that had forced her to wear this outfit she has on to begin with.

An outfit that she used to love. An outfit that she now couldn't wait to discard into the nearest trash bin and start a new life.

Start a new identity but as who? As what? She didn't quite feel like being Harley Quinn anymore. But who should she be?

 _Batwoman? Oh Batwoman sounds good!_

Smiling at just the thought of what her new costume would look like descending down the stairs into the darkness of the lowest part of the building that had been used in the past for storage as she feels the temperature getting colder and colder with every step that she takes suppressing the smile into nothing but an emotionless look descending down the rest of the steps slowly Harley disappears into the darkness.

Disappears feeling as though she is getting closer and closer to her intended target with every single step that she takes.

Steps that keep getting shorter and shorter until she comes to a stop outside of a closed door. A door that she knew what exactly was behind this door.

A door that she wanted nothing more than to just lock this door up with nothing but chains and light the whole place on fire.

But she couldn't do that. No her future husband wouldn't approve of such methods. That she knew for sure.

 _Although he might just put me over his knee and give me a good spanking._

Visualizing the image as a smile comes across her face unknown to her knowledge shaking these thoughts quickly way turning back towards the closed door as the smile across her face drops taking a deep breathe reaching out Harley knocks on the door.

Knocks on the door hearing some kind of commotion coming from the inside before a disgruntled enter echoes from the inside.

A call that makes her slowly turn the door handle and push the door open before she finds a pair of eyes turning to look over towards her from a desk at the far end of the room.

A desk that she could see was littered with nothing but papers. Nothing but what looked to be blueprints if the long papers rolled up on top wasn't a giveaway.

Eyes that suddenly come to realization as his entire head turns to look at her with a sinister smile coming across his face.

This smile that she often loved to see. But now? Now this smile just disgusted her. Disgusted her so much that she has to force a smile across her face just to keep up appearances before she watches him rise up his seat and extend his arms out widely to her as though he was expecting her to jump into his waiting arms.

A sight that makes her force her smile to widen even more before she plays the part perfectly running into his waiting arms wrapping her arms around his waist.

Wrapping her arms around him hiding her face in his shoulder as his arms come to wrap around her. Hide her face as the smile across her face vanishes into nothing but disgust.

Disgust that makes her do something that she has wanted to do for a long time now. For her to rear back and smash her knee into his groin causing a loud moan to escape his lips as his arms come to loosen around her.

Loosen around her just enough for her to push him away into his chair causing him to fall over bringing the chair with him clutching his groin.

A sight that would have made her smile brightly a day ago but on this night? On this night she was not done.

On this night she still had one more trick up her sleeve. A trick that she instantly plays taking out a large handgun from her purse pointing it down towards The Joker as he rises up to his knees just glaring up towards her.

" Nighty nighty puddin."

* * *

Ignoring the groaning man laying by her feet stepping over this massive man that just stares up at the ceiling with closed eyes and his large belly rising and falling steady giving the only indication that he was still breath stepping over the downed goon as she makes her way over towards the remaining goon finding him retreating back with every step she takes towards him with a knife drawn pointing straight at her suddenly as she sees him jabbing the knife forward sidestepping the to side instantly Ivy sends her knee up straight into the bottom of his wrist causing a sickening snap to echo through the air.

A snap that causes the goon to scream out in pain as he drops the knife out of his hand before without breaking her momentum she takes his injured arm in her hands and flings him over her shoulder using all of her strength to the ground with a tremendous thud.

A thud before one last kick silences his screams as his head snaps back from the sudden contact knocking me completely out like his counterpart.

This silence that makes a smile come across her face as she looks around at her latest handy work. Some of her best handy work if she was being honest with herself without having the need to use any of her powers.

A silence that is suddenly broken when she hears the sound of a thud followed slowly by another coming from the other end of the room.

Thuds that only interest her by the second before she slowly goes across the room to investigate what is causing the commotion.

And what she sees she could have never prepared herself for. An image that she has only seen in her wildest dreams.

Harley her Harley dragging The Joker up the stairs by his legs while his head keeps hitting the end of every step she ascends.

A scene that she could watch for hours but right now she knew of a better way to pass the time. Her favorite game to play of late involving a certain caped crusader.

A caped crusader that she knew was busy across the city dealing with a drug deal going down between a doll and some out of towners just leaving her more time to prepare.

Time that would be on her side as she goes over taking a leg from Harley's hands earning her a grateful smile before slowly she helps drag The Joker through the building not even bothering to guide his upper half around corners causing even more thuds to be heard.

* * *

Letting out a sigh emerging up the rest of the stairs as though his body is on autopilot as he finds himself standing outside of his closed bedroom door where he knew a certain redhead goddess would be found lurking behind these closed doors making a smile come across his face silently turning the knob as he brings the door open and steps inside to find the bed completely empty with the bed still made taking a couple more steps into the room before he has a chance to react suddenly the sound of the bedroom door closing causes him to snap around only for his eyes to go as wide as saucers.

Wide as saucers as he finds himself staring at two women. Staring at two women that just stare at him with seductive smiles.

One a blonde haired woman that just smiles sweetly at him wearing a see through red gown showing that she was not wearing anything underneath while she waives a can of whip cream in her right hand while her left remains on her lip.

The other a red haired woman that smiles seductively at him wearing a matching see through gown just like the woman by her side only her's was green.

Two women that slowly make their way over towards him swaying their hips seductively in perfect unison.

Women that suddenly come to a stop next to him before as he feels their hands wandering across his chest gently he feels the red haired woman laying a gentle kiss on him.

" Hello love."

Without having a chance to respond as he feels his head being turned before he feels another pair of lips being pressed to his own only this time a different flavor before long her feels the kiss being broken causing him to open his eyes to see a wide grin across the blonde's face.

" Hello hubby."


End file.
